I have had an issue with adults and children alike, asking: “What are you going to get me for my birthday?” The last time I checked, YOU having a birthday does not MANDATE a gift out of my pocketbook! I initially was going to only discuss children in this post, as the headline suggests, but then I remembered a married woman, OVER FIFTY YEARS OLD, a couple years ago that asked for gifts and DEMANDED a cake. Oh yeah, the insanity is real!
Okay, so let’s start with the kids, I absolutely love to give from my heart, if and when I have it. Sometimes life gets in the way and sometimes a kid will get in their own way. Let me explain. It was two years ago that two nephews were visiting and their birthdays were approaching. One of them mentioned to me that their birthday was soon and asked: “What are you going to get me?” I looked at my nephew for a moment and had to take the time to settle my nerves. I then said something along the lines of: “When it’s your birthday, you don’t ask for gifts, or you shouldn’t get anything! If someone is going to give you a gift, they will decide what it is and give it to you from their heart. If you ask me again, you won’t get anything!” My nephew said: “Okay.” This nephew is one of the most cordial nephews I have, so it kind of hurt my heart that he was in my mind “Begging for gifts” and I had to talk to him so sternly. The other nephew, was there waiting for his turn to jump in and ask but when I finished with the first one, he was left with his eyes wide open and his jaw partially dropped. You’re probably asking how I knew the other one was going to ask the same thing. Well, they’ve done it each and every year and I’ve said it to their parents in hopes of them being corrected. This year I had enough!
So, why am I writing about this now? Well, last year, in 2014, on one of my nephew’s birthdays, I went to the mall and spent about two hours looking for the perfect gift for him. I finally found a pair of jeans shorts and a Jordan sports top that I thought he would like. I had it wrapped and I happily drove to his home to deliver his gift. When I arrived, he opened the door and I said: “Happy Birthday!” I gave him the box, which he shook and replied: “Awww man CLOTHES????” I was TICKED! Not a thank you for the happy birthday greeting and certainly not a thank you for the gift. I should have grabbed the box and left! Hind sight is 20/20! I vowed that the next year I would not buy him a gift because of what happened this year! You see, I firmly believe that if a child is old enough to BEG for gifts, that they should also know how to be courteous and respectful of what I decide to give them.
Okay, so this year, 2015, I was happily going about my life and I remembered my nephew’s birthday AND my word not to purchase anything for him, for his birthday. So Yesterday, I receive a knock at my door and I opened the door, it was my nephew, that I haven’t seen in at least six months! The same nephew that I vowed not to purchase a gift for. So he came to visit his auntie and that made me pretty happy. He’s growing up and maturing. I said hello to him and he responded: “Did you forget about my birthday?” THE RECORD SCRATCHED!!!!!! So I said to him that I have something that I need to discuss with him. I walked him through what happened last year, when I brought him his gift. I asked him if he remembered what he said to me when I gave him his gift? He responded and asked: “No, was it clothes?” I said “Yes.” Then I asked him if he remembered what I bought him. He said “No.” I didn’t go into any details on what his gift was, I discussed the fact that he wasn’t appreciative of the gift and didn’t say “Thank you.” I told him how it made me feel and further told him that last year when he did that, I told myself that I would not buy him a gift this year. He responded: “You did?” I said: “YES, I DID!”
I went on to tell him about my own experience, when I was 16 or 17 years old, where I had purchased one of our cousins a number of items one year for Christmas and the cousin didn’t get me anything. I explained that I was a little sad thinking that the cousin didn’t care about me and that wasn’t the case. I went on to tell him that giving is from the heart, a lesson that I learned the hard way and if someone doesn’t give you something it doesn’t mean that they don’t love you, it just wasn’t meant to be. There could be many reasons for it, to include they didn’t have any money, they just didn’t want to give you a gift, there are a number of scenarios, but it doesn’t make it right that we expect something, just because we give someone something. GIVING IS FROM THE HEART!
I went on to explain that giving doesn’t have to monetarily. It could be a hand written card, it could be picking a flower and presenting it, it could be a number of things, but you can never expect someone to do something for you, just because it’s your day, whether it be your birthday, Christmas, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day. All you can be concerned about is how you contribute to enhance someones life, but not the opposite.
By the time I finished talking, my nephew’s eyes and face were pretty depressed looking, so I asked: “Are you sad?” He said: “No.” I could tell that he was though. We had an awkward moment, where my eyes welled up with water and he decided that it was time to bail out. He said “Okay Auntie I will see you later, I think I hear my brother,” and he took off running. I laughed and shook my head from East to West. These kids!
Now on to the married woman, over fifty years old. She was over the house and mentioned, as the kids were doing, that her birthday was coming up and it sure would be nice to get some presents. I looked at her like “Fool, you better miss me!” She went on to say that she knew that I have some nice things that I could “LET OFF,” and that she would kindly take them, even some things that I had just purchased. I could see that this woman was clearly a character from Walt Disney’s “LOONEY TOONES,” so I just laughed and walked away. Her birthday arrived and she was at my mother’s house. She DEMANDED that my mother bake her a cake and was pounding on my mother’s counters, to express her demand! I would have SLID HER OUT ON HER HEAD……the same way that she evidently was brought into this world! Clearly, I expected my mom to send her packing on her way, so I didn’t interfere, because they have a “SPECIAL” relationship. Do you know that this woman somehow gilted my mother into baking her a cake? I told my mom that I will be demanding a cake from her, in the same fashion, pounding on her counters, next year. My mom laughed. I still can’t believe! If any of us grown kids would have DEMANDED a cake from mom’s……we would have been wearing a PERMANENT FOOTBALL HELMET! That’s COLD! Stop enabling folks in their stupidity MOM!
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